The relationship I have with my skin has been nothing less than complicated. I never always had acne or any severe case of skin conditions before age 14 or 15, so that was never my biggest skin concern in the earlier stages of my life. What did bother me then though, was the dark shade of brown that my skin has.
I grew up in a family of three (mommy, my sister and I) which then extended to a family of six with mommy getting married and the birth of my two smaller siblings. Among all four of us, I was the only dark one.
For context, I would like to point out that my brother and sisters are an Ayesha Curry shade and I am more of a Lupita Nyong’o or Kelly Rowland.
Now, to be clear, I was never made to feel different or inferior to any of my siblings. I was treated equally. However, I believe that sometimes we are so greatly affected by the little subliminal things around us - things like media representation (or its lack thereof), people not believing or understanding how I could be the biological sister of my siblings or just those tiny snide remarks people don’t realise that you hear and you don’t realise that you internalise -. For a very long time, I struggled with loving myself for who I am; I struggled with finding any beauty about my skin and I struggled immensely with feeling inferior in so many social settings because of the colour of my skin.
Thankfully though, my mindset underwent a renaissance of sorts and I now have a greater appreciation for my people, my heritage and my roots; and I’m actively learning who I am and ultimately, loving who I am.
But remember me saying my relationship with my skin is complicated? This is where it starts.
So, at first, I wasn’t a big fan of my skin colour, then I started becoming one; but as soon as I started loving it, there came ACNE. My first breakout as I remember, was in 2013 and I was about 15 years old. I started buying and using a bunch of over the counter treatments, I went down multiple rabbit holes online searching for DIY remedies and I even paid a visit to the dermatologist. All of these things worked for about two seconds, and then I was back to square one or even worse than where I started. After a while, I came to a point where I just accepted it as being a part of me and kept on moving. Mind you, I was still trying different remedies on my face, but I just did not allow the pimples and spots to affect my life too much; well, I didn’t until May 2017.
At that time, I had the absolute worst breakout I’ve ever seen. My face had cystic pimples that hurt like hell all over my face.
They appeared to have come to a head, but when I tried popping them, they just would not budge. I felt ugly. I never left the house, I never wanted to video call anyone and I didn’t want to look at myself in the mirror. And this breakout hit me hard emotionally because, at the time, I was doing everything right. I was feeding my body all good things every day, I was drinking more than 3 litres of water daily and I was exercising. So to have my worst breakout at a time like that felt like a slap in the face of all my hard work.
Eventually, I made it to the dermatologist (again) where she explained that I have hormonal acne. She put me on a treatment plan which included birth control and it worked beautifully. It didn’t magically get rid of all signs of my breakout, but the big, monstrous bumps were all cleared up. After a while though, I had to stop taking the birth control pills because I started experiencing a few of the side effects that I wasn’t comfortable with. But along with that, I think my skin got so used to the topical products that it was no longer responding to them how it should.
At this point, I had the thought that the ingredients in these products that were working for me had to come from somewhere in nature so I began researching the active ingredients in my treatments and what their natural alternative would be.
In my search, I found tea tree oil, vitamin E oil, lemon essential oil and shea butter. I began using these products and they were doing well for my skin. The texture improved and the pimples were under control. My spots were still there, but I understood that those will take much longer to disappear. Since then, I’ve really only been using natural skin care products for both my eczema and my acne. I still have my prescribed topical treatments on hand because I never went through the entire tubes of the last batch I bought. But once they’re all done, that’s a wrap for prescribed treatment because I find that my skin responds better to natural products. During this part of my journey, I found a skincare gem in Irie Rock products. When I rediscovered this brand, it was such a relief to finally find something that works for me all while being natural.
I found my way to Irie Rock because I had a bad breakout at the beginning of my senior year in university. At the time, I was just grasping at straws in an attempt to help my skin. I went to my university's bookshop and saw the products on the shelf and I said: “you know what? I’m trying these”. So, I did some research to see which ones I should get and I came up with a personalised, research-based routine. I got a cleanser, a toner, a masque, a vitamin C serum and a hyaluronic acid serum. I also got myself a moisturiser by the brand “Simple” because it had SPF in it and I love a twofer because the fewer steps I have to go through, the happier I am. My skin improved so much and it made me feel amazing about myself. I'm so grateful for this because I remember where my skin is coming from, where I am coming from emotionally because of my skin, and to see where I am today, sometimes makes me impassioned in the very best way.
One of the highlights of my journey is having friends who understand exactly what I’ve been through and is still going through because they have had similar experiences. Camaraderie and vulnerability in times of struggle are so important and I feel extremely blessed to be able to share my story with these people and vice versa.
I gave you a snapshot into my journey with my skin. But no journey is worthwhile without learning lessons along the way. So here are three lessons my friends taught me:
“You don’t really feel like you’re up to your full potential when your skin or your face or anywhere has spots and that part is especially exposed to the outside world and you feel like people are looking at you and are seeing all of the flaws that you are seeing.”
(Shenell Williams)
Lesson 1: Don’t let something as superficial and temporary as a breakout claim your confidence. A lot of the times we live in a world completely made up and inside our heads and we assume that when people look at us, they don’t see us, they only see our blemishes. But that’s not the truth. Yes, they notice the pimples and spots but that can never overpower who you are at the core or the true beauty that lives within you because at the end of the day, contrary to what we hear all the time, true beauty is not skin deep.
“... learn your skin type, find one product and stick to it – have a daily routine.”
(Leanna Carby)
Lesson 2: Don’t buy into every new fad and every new product on the market. Don’t get distracted by advertising. Listen to your skin, learn your skin and love your skin. Do your research and test products until you find what works for YOU – not your favourite YouTuber or beauty blogger, but what works for you and your skin.
“When I eat something, my face shows what I eat. So, if I drink lots of water and eat healthily, my skin tends to be more even-toned but when I eat a lot of oily foods, all sorts of blemishes come up...”. (Omari Bawn)
Lesson 3: There is no sense in having a great routine if you have a garbage diet. I am a chocolate and dairy girl. I love ice cream, cookies, pasta, milkshakes and all the foods that aren’t the greatest for my skin and once upon a time, I did not care about what I ate because I had the mentality that I could easily fix that with topical treatments. But there is a principle I learned in third form in I.T. class – GIGO: Garbage In, garbage Out. -. So don’t just put the good stuff on your skin, but put it in your body too.
The journey is ongoing and I’m learning my skin every day. I’m learning to love me for me. My skincare sister, Shenell Williams said it perfectly “It is what it is. My face looks like this [so] who wants to accept me, accepts me, who doesn’t want to accept me, don’t.”. There is no point in dwelling on what already is. Accept your reality and then do your best work in trying to get your skin to where you want it to be. My skin is definitely not perfect, but I’m trying to be kinder to it, to listen to it and to give it unconditional love.
This journey gets overwhelming at times, but you must take comfort in just that – it's a journey -. It won’t always be easy sailing but it most definitely won’t always be turbulent either. Keep eating right, keep drinking lots of water, keep exercising and keep nurturing your skin because, in the end, you will realise that all the struggling and all mistakes were worthwhile. Your skin is your biggest organ; it’s the biggest part of who you are and you have to treat it right so eventually, it can be [one of] your biggest flexes.
Follow Codeth on Instagram at @codethcameron to see her skin Journey with Irie Rock and check out her weekly IGTV series " Skincare Sundays"
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