“MI glad me nuh affi guh thru dis every month! Girl happy bad!” - S. Campbell.
Imagine growing up feeling relieved that you never saw blood every month, you never had cramps and you didn’t have to spend money on pads(sanitary napkins) or tampons. That isn’t the reality of the average teenage or adolescent girl. Surely if you’re a female that hasn't experienced this you’d be envious too. But not if you’ve heard of PCOS - Polycystic Ovary Syndrome -; not if you’ve had to watch a friend, a mom or a sister face numerous hormonal and physical challenges; not until YOU have experienced the harsh realities of facial hair, weight gain, depression/sadness, insomnia, hair loss/hair thinning, acne, unusual pains and aches and missed periods.
There is no simple way to acknowledge that these experiences are uncommon or that they cause serious emotional distress. But it has sure enough become more easily understood by the efforts of The National PCOS Association. They have posited that “PCOS is a serious genetic, hormone, metabolic and reproductive disorder that affects women and girls. It is the leading cause of female infertility and a precursor for other serious conditions including obesity, type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and endometrial cancer.”
As a PCOS Warrior myself, it is a relief to be able to openly share my story; to see hundreds of women speak out and express their challenges, and to most of all learn things I never knew about my condition.
When you’re diagnosed, the doctors don’t necessarily give you a play by play and sometimes, I think many of them can’t. And who could blame them, PCOS is not a critically named condition, and women have been made to feel like their hormones are more destructive than good. It has been heartwarming to see so many women over the past few weeks of September sharing remedies and experiences that felt so close to home. I even shared my story in the form of a poem, and now I’m choosing to share stories of four STRONG BLACK WOMEN to remind us that to understand is to know, and to know is to experience...
I'M DOING BETTER NOW
SharnaKay Campbell, 22 had her experiences very early on in her childhood. She went from being what society termed as a ‘Late Bloomer’, to being a victim of PCOS.
“I got my first period in 6th grade. And at my medical in first form, I asked the doctor about me missing my period and she explained that I was still developing. I don't remember seeing a period again until grade 9 and so I started to feel like something was definitely wrong, but I never made it an issue. Being the only one with irregular periods around my female friends made me a target to jeer. They would experience cramps and I wouldn’t and of course, I would be happy! At the time I thought ‘MI glad me nuh affi guh thru dis every month! Girl happy bad!’ I remember a friend saying, “Penny yah big man, man!” It was true that I have a masculine structure, but to my surprise, the friend pointed out that I had facial hair and so I rushed to the bathroom and saw two hairs sticking out my chin and I started to be more mindful - so I’d tweeze them, I’d tweeze them as soon as I saw them. Every morning I used to spend 2 and a half hours just doing my face... I wore A LOT of makeup, as they came up, I’d tried to conceal it, I even tried bleaching them because truthfully it made me feel ugly.
But my ignorance would end in 2017 - I went abroad and had the most awful experience with my condition to date. My face was covered in eczema, there were black dark patches under my arm and on my back, and that put me in another state of depression. And, my period came and it was awful. It was heavy, heavy to the point where I was using SUPER tampons and in the space of an hour I was using like 5/6, I was bleeding so heavily that if I lay down and got up I had to try and stop my body from releasing blood or I’d make a mess on the floor. I was thinking that I was dying at this point. I made an appointment and after several questions, the doctor diagnosed me with PCOS. All that was happening was now understandable, I then tried making some lifestyle changes. I still get sad when I see some posts and I skip them, but I think about having kids now.”
I DON’T TALK TO ANYONE REALLY.
Codeth Cameron, 21 has still not been diagnosed with PCOS, but she shares her experiences as she faces the reality of fighting alone.
“Well, I actually have never been diagnosed with it. I've only ever been to the doctor twice regarding irregularities in my period. First time I was sent to do a couple of blood tests which came back fine. Then I went back to the doctor and got sent to do an ultrasound which also reflected normalities with my uterus.
Although I understand that there is a lot at stake and I should probably be paying more attention to it, I'm honestly scared to go to the doctor and hear bad news if you understand what I mean.
But on top of the acne, the no periods, there is facial hair and excessive body hair. So it's hard enough worrying about whether you may have kids or not because that's something you and Jesus one know. But the excessive hair, though it seems like such a vain thing to say, is the hardest part for me. Because people are mean sometimes... and they stare... and they give unsolicited opinions and it's just... a lot sometimes. I mentioned it to mommy once ... as in the possibility of PCOS and she responded that I "shouldn't accept that." So to be honest, I don't like to talk to her or any family member about it because I just feel a lack of support regarding the situation.”
IT’S EASIER TO MAKE JOKES
Anonymous, 22 has been through a lot and has had one of the worst cases I have come upon to date. Having had to undergo multiple procedures she remains hopeful that her future will be as normal as it possibly can.
“I had my first period when I was 8 years old and since that time, I have always had irregular cycles. I had heavy and consistent bleeding for anywhere between ten and twenty days accompanied with severe pain, loss of appetite and occasionally weight loss as I was unable to keep down any food or liquids for more than 20-30 minutes before throwing up. But, on April 14, 2018, I was diagnosed with PCOS. Since then I have gone through more than 5 different treatment options with no success, ranging from a combination of oral and topical medications to injections and minor surgery.
I’ve always struggled with my weight and the various treatments just made it worse. So, whenever people say anything about my appearance, my defence is always something relating to me being fat. Even though I've accepted my condition it does make life easier to make fat jokes about myself than opening up to people, in fear of them taking my condition for a joke or make fun of me because of it. I don’t think it's fair to me or the millions of women out there struggling with reproductive and/or fertility illnesses or conditions.”
I DON’T WANT CHILDREN SO I DIDN’T WORRY ABOUT IT
Danea Dunkley, 22 has suffered from irregular cycles for a long time but didn’t care about it much until she discovered the other side effects of PCOS.
“Irregular cycles have always been my thing and sadly I was very content with it, I was happy I didn’t endure pain or had a period every month. I thought I was quite lucky to only have my period four times a year and if I’m lucky once a year. Having my period every nine months was a dream for me but last year, a huge change hit my body. I was gaining weight rapidly and I was not enjoying it at all and while others said it was not that serious, it was very serious to me. Especially that none of my clothes fit anymore. I always associated PCOS to infertility and I really didn’t care for having children, so I was okay with that but my friend once told me, “it’s better to have the option of not wanting kids then not being able to.”
After doing my research I realized there was more to PCOS than what I imagined, it was linked to so many things I suffered with like hormonal imbalance, anxiety, facial hair and insomnia. Now that I’m much wiser about my condition and know that I’m not alone because during this month I’ve seen a lot of my peers talk about this struggle with PCOS and it’s comforting knowing that others are fighting the battle. I also love that more women are talking about it and I hope we won’t just be a hashtag for a month but more is done for women who suffer from reproductive disorders.”
Four women - four different stories. Interestingly they are all in the same age group facing different levels of PCOS. It's fair to say at this age neither of them are thinking of starting families but some of them shared with me that eventually, they would like to, as soon as three years from now. And this begs the question, how are WE comforted in knowing that option is not solely up to us. And of course, optimists will say that life is uncertain and that we should not accept defeat; but I think it's more than that. I believe WE are acknowledging that life for a female with PCOS is as dysfunctional as any other health condition. Say like Danea, children were not on the agenda, but there is still the battle of not being able to control how you look and feel; not being able to cope with what your body does or does not produce. Not being able to steer the narrative. Who is really listening to us? Who cares to understand? And how will we know that we won't have to make jokes or spare details just to feel accepted?
PCOS is not widely recognized, nor understood especially by older people. Too many Boomers, Unknowing Millennials and Carefree Gen-Z’s see PCOS Warriors as "lazy overeaters, who cause stress upon themselves because we don’t sleep at night and we care too much about what other people think". Don’t let this hurtful narrative silence your voice or worsen your already difficult reality. It’s always too much to answer the constant questions and explain the abnormal changes but you’re NOT alone - Let’s Build a Community.
Written by Sandreen McVoitte
Kommentare